Silence
by mockingjay-x
Summary: Mark and Addison. Because I felt the need to do it. Just read it, I can' be bothered with writing a summary. Please?
1. Chapter 1

**This was going to be a one shot, but clearly, that's not going to happen. It won't be anymore than two or three chapters. But I thought I'd upload as much as I had before I disappeared off to work. **

**Set in Season 3 at some point. I can't really think where. Possibly around the time of the bet, because that would fit. Only Addison won't be sleeping with Alex.**

**I own nothing. However, I am going to see Julie Andrews in May and then jetting off to Sardinia in June with two of my best friends! Ooh, how exciting!**

**Reviews are muchly appreciated. I haven't re-read it, because I don't have the time. So, I apologise profusely for any mistakes in it.  
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There he was, standing in all his glory, that signature smirk spread right across his face as he flirted with one of the nurses. It was something she was used to, something she knew shouldn't bother her in the slightest, yet it did. It annoyed her so much she hated looking at it, she hated looking at him. It wasn't as though they were anything, they were merely two people who had slept together a lot. Well, there was that, and the fact he was the man she had cheated on her husband with, fallen pregnant with his child and lived with for three months. But they were friends, or something like that.

Just as she was about to turn around, ignore the fact that he was there, he looked over at her, the smirk turning into a genuine smile, something she knew that no one really saw coming from the man. She wasn't going to let him get the best of her, she couldn't let that happen, because where would she end up if she done that, yet again? Instead, she forced a smile back before turning around and making her way down the hallway in completely the opposite direction. She could try and find somewhere to hide out, somewhere that he wouldn't find her.

It was just as she was about to open the door to one of the on-call rooms that she felt his hand on her arm, stopping her from going anywhere. "What?" Addison questioned as she turned around to look at him and she instantly felt guilty for just walking off.

"Are you alright?" Mark questioned softly as he moved his hand from her arm, his eyes remaining on hers.

"I'm fine, Mark." Addison breathed, rolling her eyes at his question. It was the reaction she gave most people when they asked her if she was alright, especially Derek and Mark.

"Right, you're fine." Mark scoffed, it was his turn for the eye roll this time before turning around and leaving Addison to do whatever it was she planned on doing. Addison may she she was 'fine', but he knew otherwise, he knew the woman, he knew that she felt just as crap as he did, they just had completely different ways of showing it. "You're always fine," he mumbled to himself as he pushed open the door to one of the stairwells. He could take the elevator, but the stairs felt much more appealing that being stuck in a confined space with a bunch of people he wasn't too fond of.

As he got to the bottom step, he felt his cell phone vibrate in his pocket twice, a text message or something. He pulled it out of his pocket and went onto messages, seeing Addison's name first. _I'm sorry. I just need to be alone._ Again, Mark scoffed as he put it back in his pocket choosing not to reply to the text. She always needed to be alone, the one person who craved being around other people so much apparently needed to be alone just as much.

That was at 11:18am that he got the text and he didn't see or hear from the red head for the rest of the day, he didn't even go looking for her, or look on the board to see what surgeries she had. Because she wanted to be alone, she could be alone.

By just after seven, it was time for Mark to get out of the hospital and head back to his hotel. Most nights, he'd head over to Joe's or somewhere for a few drinks, but this time, he wasn't in the mood. He wasn't in the mood to be surrounded by people who were content with their lives, who weren't pining over a red head they longed to have look at them for more than just a few seconds. The drive back to the hotel didn't take long, in all honesty, if he wanted to, he could have walked it. But driving was easier and a lot warmer too.

Mark handed his keys to the young man who barely looked old enough to ride a push bike, let alone drive Mark's car, with a few words about not scratching the paintwork, before he made his way towards the elevators but opting for the stairs once more. This time, he took them two at a time, occasionally three, rather than the slow walk he'd done at the hospital throughout the day.

When he got to his floor, he pulled out his wallet and took out his key card only to see a figure sitting further down the hallway. As soon as he noticed who it was, he let out a sigh and pushed his wallet back in his pocket. "It's unlike you to sit in hallways like this." He mumbled as he held out his hand towards her to help her up.

"You've been avoiding me since this morning." Addison replied, looking at him as he opened the door to his room and held it for her.

"You wanted to be alone." Mark stated, letting the door slam behind him as he proceeded to kick off his shoes and take off his leather jacket. "I was doing as you wanted."

Addison turned to face him, her eyes following his every move as he poured himself a glass of scotch, glancing up at her and pouring one for Addison after she gave a small nod of her head. "You never normally do."

"Well, things change." Mark muttered as he handed her the drink before downing his own and pouring himself another one. He knew Addison hated the stuff, so he wasn't sure why she had agreed to have some, but it meant he got her company for a little while longer.

"I guess." Addison shrugged before taking a small sip of the amber liquid, pulling a face of disgust as she done so.

"Why are you here?"

Addison looked up from the glass of scotch, a little stunned by Mark's tone of voice. She struggled to answer his question, it was a simple question, yet the answer seemed so complicated. "I don't know." Those were the words Addison opted for, only she did know, she knew exactly why she was there. It wasn't because she hadn't had sex in almost six weeks and that Mark was the only person who knew how to please her in a way no one else did. (Maybe that was a small factor in it.) It was because she felt guilty about how she had been with him lately. It was because she longed to be around him again, even if they just sat there in silence. It was because she missed him.

Mark rolled his eyes as he walked over to the sofa in the room and sat down, putting his feet up on the coffee table as he grabbed the television remote and turned it on. He knew Addison would remain where she was unless he said something to her, it was who she was. "Sit down, would you. Do something."

Watching him, she knew she needed to talk to him, she needed to say what was going through her mind and apologise to Mark for being such a bitch lately. Addison walked over to the sofa and placed her glass down on the coffee table, before removing both her shoes and her coat and sitting down on the sofa. She wasn't close to Mark, but she wasn't right at the opposite end to him.

The two remained sitting on the sofa in silence, watching whatever crap Mark had chosen to watch, it wasn't long before Addison felt her eyes drooping. If she was going to fall asleep, she wanted to be more comfortable than she was then. Moving on the sofa, Addison laid down and let her head rest on Mark's lap, still looking towards the television and not making sure that it was alright. She didn't care, she was comfortable.

As he watched Addison move so that her head was resting on his lap, the man couldn't help but smile to himself. She didn't want to be alone, otherwise she would have already left. Mark placed his hand on her arm, brushing his thumb gently over it as he watched television, knowing full well that the red head wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to it.

What only felt like a few minutes later, Addison was awoken to the sound of someone knocking at the door and she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at Mark who was smiling down at her. "How long have I been asleep?"

"A couple of hours. Mind moving while I answer the door?"

Addison moved so that Mark could stand up, before laying back down on the sofa, but she couldn't get as comfortable as she had been, she needed Mark there. Even though he'd simply been a pillow, it was been the best nap she'd had in a long time. The red head lay there and watched as Mark held the door open for the young boy delivering room service, then handing him a tip which would have been way too much no doubt. "You got food." Addison said softly, feeling slightly hopeful that there was something she'd eat on the tray.

"I got us food, yeah." Mark shrugged as though it was no big deal, because it wasn't, to him it wasn't a big deal at all. Picking up the tray, he took it over to the coffee table near the sofa and pushed the table closer to Addison before going and grabbing a couple of sweatshirts out of the wardrobe and throwing one to Addison. "Before you complain that this room is cold, even though it's not." He knew what she was like, she'd wake up from a nap, be fine for about ten minutes and then start to shiver.

Addison looked up at him gratefully and pulled the sweatshirt over her head, waiting for Mark to join her again on the sofa before she moved closer to him once again. "Are you sure you don't mind if I have some of it?"

"I know I eat a lot, Red. But I'm gonna need some help with all of this." Mark replied, placing his hand on Addison's thigh as he lifted the covers from the trays and placed them down on the floor.

Addison linked her arm through Mark's and leant against him a little more as she looked at what food he'd ordered. He was right, he would need help eating it. Even though she wouldn't eat much, there wasn't a chance Mark could eat all of what he had ordered to himself. "Thank you."

"I couldn't have you starve, could I?" He shrugged before picking up the plate with the pizza on and placing it on his lap. "Want some?"

The two went back to their silence as they ate, Addison finishing most of the Strawberry Cheesecake before even offering any to Mark, who simply stated that he'd got it for her anyway. It was little things like that which Addison loved, how he would think about the things she liked when he was ordering food, even though there was the possibilty that she might not want anything at all, or she could have yelled at him for letting her sleep for so long.

Once all the plates were almost empty, Mark got up and put the tray outside of the door and left it there for someone to pick it up. Walking back into the room, he looked at Addison sitting on the sofa watching whatever it was he'd been apparently watching for the past two hours and he let out a soft sigh. He had no idea why she was there, what the Hell she wanted, but he wasn't going to ask her to leave while he got some sleep. "Why are you here, Addison?" Mark asked as he sat back down beside her, looking at Addison rather than the television.

Slowly and reluctantly, Addison brought her gaze away from the television and up to Mark who was sitting there waiting for an answer, they both knew he wasn't going to be getting easily. "Like I said, I don't know."

"You never fucking know. You never fucking want to be around anyone. You always want to be alone. This is you, Addison, the woman who hates being without someone for company, the woman who happily stayed with me for three months after her husband decided to move across the fucking country."

Addison fell silent, and she cautiously reached for Mark's hand, hoping that he wouldn't pull it away. "Who was that you were flirting with today? She seemed nice."

"What does it fucking matter to you?" He hated getting angry at Addison, absolutely loathed it, but he couldn't handle it anymore. He wanted this woman so much, he wanted to actually get a chance at a relationship with the woman and she wasn't giving him anything back.

He hadn't pulled his hand away, he may have practically yelled at her, but his hand was still laced with hers. Something which Addison knew was a good sign. "I guess I've got used to being alone," she replied to his earlier statement.

"That's your choice."

"You don't exactly help me choose otherwise."

Mark didn't have the slightest clue where this was going, there was even a part of him that didn't want to know where it was going. "What's that meant to mean?"

"You, sleeping with everyone. You say that you want to be with me, Mark. But then you go and sleep with anyone and everyone you possibly can."

"And you help the situation, do you? Asking to be alone, telling me that I'm lying and I don't give a shit about you? You don't get to choose how I feel, alright? That's down to me. If I say that I love you, it's because I do. It's because I'd do anything for you. I've done everything you've asked me, other than staying in New York. Because I won't, not while you're out here as fucking miserable as you are, I won't go back. If you want to be miserable and feel sorry for yourself out here, then let me do the same." Pulling his hand from her grip, Mark got up from the sofa and made his way to the bathroom, stopping as he reached the door. "As for me sleeping with anyone and everyone, I haven't had sex with anyone since the last time we done it."


	2. Chapter 2

**I apologise for taking so long to add this chapter, but I must have written it about ten times before coming up with something I was reasonably satisfied with. Still, I'm not completely happy with this, but it'll do. Season Six has just started over here (way behind, I know!), but it'll do. I haven't caught up with anything online lately, I'm terrible.  
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**I own absolutely nothing. Other than a plane ticket to Los Angeles! I'll be there for my birthday! I'm ridiculously excited. I still have four months to wait though, which I'm extremely disappointed about. Still, May shall be an awesome month. Julie Andrews and Los Angeles! **

**Review and I shall love you forever.**

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Stepping out of the bathroom about fifteen minutes later, Mark couldn't help but smile inwardly as he saw Addison curled up on the sofa. She had the sweatshirt he'd got out for himself covering her legs while she hugged a pillow, in his opinion, she looked adorable. He saw her move slightly as he began to get dressed, pulling on an old pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. Making his way over to the couch, he sat beside Addison and reached over, placing his hand over hers.

"You're still mad," Addison whispered as she turned her hand and laced her fingers with Mark's, holding onto it tightly.

"I just wish you'd talk to me, that's all. Don't shut yourself away, Addie." Mark replied, looking from the television towards Addison.

Addison sighed to herself before shifting on the sofa and turning towards Mark a little more whilst still keeping his hand tightly in her own. As she looked up at him, she couldn't ignore the pleading look in his eyes, a look she rarely saw and knew perfectly well that no one else ever saw it. "I'm not doing it on purpose, you know."

Feeling how tightly Addison was gripping onto his hand, he knew that she was worried that he'd just get up and leave her there alone, but as annoyed and frustrated as he was with her, he couldn't do that. This woman who was sitting beside him on the sofa in his hotel room meant everything to him. "Sometimes it feels like it. I'm just sick and fucking tired of the games, I never know where I stand. One minute we're fine, flirting, being how we've always been, then the next you're yelling at me to leave you alone for no reason. Coming out with all this crap about needing space and that you don't want to be around anyone." Pausing, Mark felt the grip Addison had on his hand loosen slightly, but he tightened his grip a little before continuing. "I know you, Addison. I know you hate being alone otherwise you would have been perfectly content while your ex-husband was living at the hospital. Instead, I was there all the fucking time, holding you when you cried, going for walks in the middle of the night, meeting you for lunch just because you didn't want to be alone and you couldn't get hold of Derek. You hate being alone."

In everything Mark had said, he was right. Addison hated being alone, she truly hated it. That was really her reason for waiting outside Mark's hotel room, she wanted some company and the first person she thought of was Mark. He was the only person she wanted to truly spend time with, even if they didn't spend any time talking. Just being around Mark felt right, it always had done. Mark understood her in a way that no one else ever had, not even Derek. "It shouldn't be this difficult," Addison muttered, falling silent immediately after as she looked down at their hands laced together.

"What shouldn't?" Mark asked curiously, giving her hand a gentle squeeze.

"This. Us. Talking to you about everything. It was never like this with Derek when we first met, we never really had that awkward phase, we just seemed to click. He was easy to talk to."

"I'm not Derek! I'm nothing like the guy. You didn't have that awkward phase because you never believed that you could do any better than him, you believed he was this perfect guy, _your_ perfect guy. That was fucking bullshit, wasn't it? Or is he still the one that you want to be with, because if you want, I'm sure I could get Meredith into bed and then he might just come running back to you. He'd hate me even more, but that's something I'd have to live with it meant you were happy."

The red head could feel the tears stinging her eyes as she tried to hold them in, knowing that she'd be unsuccessful in the end. She knew that she'd end up in tears, they both did. Addison had shown up at Mark's with every intention of doing the talking, but so far it had been Mark doing it all. He'd been the one saying the things that needed to be said, not her. "I don't want you to be Derek. I want you to be _you_. What if you're not my perfect guy, Mark? What if you're just another mistake and things get screwed up like they did with Derek? Finding out about you and Tracey, or whatever her name was, that hurt. I knew we weren't exactly exclusive, but it didn't make the pain disappear easier. You were the one who was meant to pick me up and put me back together, but it fell apart. You made us fall apart."

Pulling his hand from Addison's, Mark got up from the couch and grabbed the scotch bottle, pouring himself another glass and downing it straight away. "No, you don't get to fucking blame me for that! You don't get to blame me for being there for you after he left. You don't get to tell me that I screwed us up back then! If you hadn't spent three fucking months pining over a man who didn't give a shit about you, then we would have worked. I was there, I listened to you go on about how much you loved him. I laid awake at night as you cried yourself to sleep, knowing perfectly well that there wasn't anything I could do to make it easier. I knew all along that you'd end up going after him, but until then, I wanted to make the most of you being there! You want to know the reason why I screwed that nurse?! To give you the escape you fucking wanted, to give you a reason to go after Derek! Not because I wanted to hurt you, or I wanted to lose whatever it was we had, but to give you a reason to leave."

Addison sat there unable to speak as she watched Mark pour himself another scotch, downing it straight away, followed by another. They'd never really discussed everything about New York, they'd never had a reason to. But maybe if they got everything out in the open things might be easier. Maybe.

The tears were flowing freely down her cheeks and as much as she tried to wipe them away, it wasn't making the slightest bit of difference. Mark could see her crying, yet he wasn't at her side comforting her, he was more interested in the bottle of scotch he had. She didn't blame him really, she caused him as much pain as he had caused her. They were as bad as one another, so maybe that was why they made such a good match. Maybe that was why each time she needed someone to just be around, she'd choose him, Mark Sloan. Addison stood up and made her way to the bathroom, avoiding eye contact with Mark as she passed him. She didn't think that anything she said would make things right between them, everything she said and done was wrong and just caused more problems for them.

As she stood in the bathroom staring at her reflection, her eyes were red from where she was crying, her mascara was running down her face, so much for waterproof mascara, her hair was a mess, but she knew that if this was any other situation, Mark would be there telling her that she was beautiful. Not this time, because he was in the next room, downing a bottle of scotch because she was hurting him. She was screwing things up for him. When she emerged from the bathroom, Mark was sitting on the bed staring in the direction of the television, the almost empty bottle of scotch on the bedside table. "Can I?" Addison asked softly as she gestured towards the space beside him on the bed, only to receive his answer as he shrugged his shoulders. It was better than it being a flat out no.

Addison climbed onto the bed, shuffling closer to Mark and linking her arm through his, she needed to be close to him, even if he was pissed off with her, she needed to be close to Mark. As silence fell between them once again, both of them staring at the television screen but not paying the slightest bit of attention to it, Addison let her head rest gently on his shoulder.

What felt like hours passed, but couldn't have been more than a few minutes, Addison couldn't stand the silence any more, but she didn't want the yelling to start up again. "Mark?"

"Yeah?" He wasn't annoyed, he was actually grateful for the fact that she was close beside him, that she had chosen to sit there.

"Do you think we could do it? That we could make a relationship work? Even with everything against us, do you think we can make it?" Cautiously, Addison looked up at Mark to see his reaction, to see whether it was something she wanted to see or not, but she couldn't work it out. Usually she could, but this time she had no idea.

"Is that why you're here?"

"I don't know why I'm here," she answered almost straight away. "You're right, Mark. You're always right. I hate being alone, I've always hated being alone." Addison noticed Mark turn his head to look at her, taking in everything she was saying. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't grateful for you being there in New York, because I was, I am. Before he left, after he left. You were always there, and I'll forever be grateful for that, for you. I don't say it enough, but I need you Mark. Not just to scratch and itch as and when, but because you're you, you're Mark. I shouldn't have blamed you for screwing us up back in New York, because once again, you were right, I would have gone after Derek, no matter what. I ruined us, I didn't help."

The tears were trickling down her cheeks again, only this time Mark was wiping them away, his hand was resting on her cheek as he brushed them away. "We both ruined us back in New York," Mark said simply, tilting Addison's head up to look her in the eyes. "We both screwed up, but it's your choice Addie. If you believe we can do it, if you're even willing to give us a chance, then we'll try."

"You're not mad," Addison said weakly, a tiny smile gracing her lips which grew as she saw the smile on Mark's face.

"Is that your way of saying you'll give us a shot?"

"Something like that."

Mark chuckled as he leant down and softly pressed his lips to Addison's, nothing could possibly feel anywhere near as good as that did. He had his Red back, and to Mark, that was all that mattered. Even with the fights they'd have and everything else they'd face, he had Addison.

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Again, I apologise for how bad this is. But how good looking is Patrick Dempsey?!?!?!?! I know!


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